I’ve been teaching English in Japan for just over 2 months now, and in that time I’ve heard a good few random things from my students which have either freaked me out a little or downright left me wondering ‘what the hell’.
For example:

- ‘I’ve been playing Majong with some of my co-workers, and I’ve been losing. I owe them 40,000 Yen… no sorry 400,000 Yen is what I mean.’

400,000 Yen is about 2,000 pounds. So what do you say when your student starts the lesson by telling you how he’s been losing money gambling (which is illegal in Japan) and then follows this promptly with…

- ‘The people I play with have said I have 2 months to pay them, but I don’t think they’re serious.’

At which point I actually just didn’t know what to say. Following this the guy didn’t show up for a month, leading me to think that something bad might have actually happened. Turns out he was in hospital, but he didn’t really say what for… :|

A more common comment I’ve been hearing recently is:

- ‘I feel really ill, I’m not too well.’ (followed by bouts of cold, runny nose and wearing of sick mask)

Which automatically prompts me to think - what the hell are you doing in this classroom, on your time off or more like your day off when you could be at home looking after yourself?

This one is a favourite of mine - following a question during a grammar game of whether or not my student liked learning English, he answered:

- ‘No I don’t really.’

So why exactly are you in the classroom on a saturday when you could be at home spending time with your family?

During one of my recent lessons I asked a female student if she ever had a broken heart (the lesson was about past perfect - don’t ask as to the question, it was in the book). Her answer was:

- ‘All the time’

Ouch!

Kids often provide some amusing comments too…

- ‘Hello Baby!’ (when greeting me)

being one of them :-?

There’s more, but I can’t remember them off the top of my head so I’ll leave it for another day.

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written by Laurent